7 thoughts on “9”

    1. aw, shucks … will you please tell my hubby that? because i’m drowning in heavy metal and grunge.

      Seriously though … this could be my life story. [Damn, I’m unloading some heavy shit in counseling. Counseling sucks, by the way … but if you want your meds you have to talk. Ugh. Been a hell of a year. Two attempts; cutting contact with abusive parents; and trying to get my lovable lughead to grow the f*** up. ]

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      1. I do not even know how many years of counseling I went through. I was sexually abused by my father from the age of 12 till I left home. My parents would ‘inspect’ me after dates to see if I had sex. I finally quit spend the night in their house. Would still come to them in order to help my younger sister care for them. I decided I would be nice to old people stranger so I would be nice to them. But I did not take the verbal abuse from my mom. So when I say I understand, I really, really do. My hubby was a godsend even though I have had to accept that he has a right to be himself, too. Ha! Amateur radios are part of our home’s decoration. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. It took a long time for me to see more of his good qualities than the irritating things. He helped me stop and look at the simple things instead of running from myself.

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  1. Damn. Wow. I wish I knew the right thing to say. You’re a good person to be able to help them in any form after all of that. [Hugs]

    The hubs and I are making progress; today seems more hopeful. Counseling has just brought out too many years of stuff I buried inside. He’s offered to go with me. I won’t put him through that, but it’s good to know.

    “I’m trying to tell you something about my life
    Maybe give me insight between black and white
    The best thing you’ve ever done for me
    Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all
    Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
    And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
    I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
    I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shore.

    I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
    I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
    There’s more than one answer to these questions
    pointing me in crooked line
    The less I seek my source for some definitive
    The closer I am to fine.”

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      1. I gave them up after Christmas Eve… B went to sleep, I listened to John Lennon’s “mother” over and over, got totally smashed. That last part wasn’t a good idea. But after the -acceptance- the guilt poured away. When I move, they won’t have my address.

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